Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
