so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
