girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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