booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
