The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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