take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
