oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
