your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
