He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
