as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
