so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
