Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i now understand why vodka
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
