He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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