I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
