He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Randomize
