i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
