I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize