super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize