peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
