the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
