I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
