What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
