Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
