The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
