Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
