Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Can Purell be used as lube?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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