That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I currently don't understand fingers.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
