I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Are we still banned from the library?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize