Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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