I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
