so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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