Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
