did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
