I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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