if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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