what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
