Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
