I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize