Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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