I think I died a long time ago.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
