After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
