i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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