so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My dick has a subreddit
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
