I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
