I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
