He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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