She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
