Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
