Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
