ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
