OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
