No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
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