There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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