Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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