The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
