so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's blow job season.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
