I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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