She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
