So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
