I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
