The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize