Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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