i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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